Up until i was 19, i was one of the most bubbly, lively people you could ever meet, i loved making people smile and to just have fun. I met someone and over the course of that relationship, i began to lose more and more of myself, until i didn’t recognise ME anymore!! The longer this went on…the more i became a shell of my former self, this is not an easy tale to tell, but i am in a place now, filled with happiness and nothing but positivity, it’s amazing what positive thinking can do!!
By the time i got out of that relationship, i was a first time mum of a 12 week old little girl, but i was broken…i believed irrepairably so, it was like living under a dark cloud, that followed me everywhere, my only light and my saving grace was my beautiful baby girl!! Every time i felt suffocated by the negativity that weighed me down, i looked at her and she gave me hope. The end of the relationship, didn’t mean the end of the negativity, i allowed myself to be verbally abused and mistreated for the next 8 years, why?? Because that broken woman that i had become….believed that’s what she deserved. I never sort help, i rarely spoke about any of what i’d been through to anyone, not even to family and close friends, i just locked it all away, hoping it would fade in time…it didn’t.
For years i carried that cloud with me, through new relationships and even when i had another beautiful little princess, until i was alone again and i finally decided NO MORE!!! I wanted my girls to be able to look up at their mum and not see the broken mess that i was. It took 3 years, amazing friends, a strength i never knew i had and an amazing opportunity to do it, but i can now look in the mirror and say i am worth it, i WILL be happy, i WILL create the life that my girls and i deserve!!
For the last 4 months, i have surrounded myself with positive influences, it would be a lie if i said i hadn’t had any negative thoughts, but they have become less and less, as the months have gone on. I can now face my problems head on, without losing the plot and having a meltdown, i can talk about my past without feeling shame and regret, all this because i changed the way i thought about things. Thinking positive really does bring good things to your life, it’s not always easy, but the more you try, the better you get at it. Since i shut all the negativity out of my life, truly amazing things have been happening and i know, they will only get better, the future is most definitely bright.
Final Though – It is far to easy, to get bogged down by drama and negativity, i choose NOT to have it in my life anymore, when life gets you down, just remember, to every negative, there is a positive, we choose the life we are living and we really do only live once, take control, be happy and let positivity take you where you want to go. Thanks for reading – Lisa xoxo